“Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
There is an old adage, “It takes two to tango.”
But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He will not hear. Isaiah 59:2
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35
Juandre Coetzer tells his story in a post on Uncommon: Challenging Men website: Become a Better Husband, Dad, and Leader. Jaundre’s advice works for both the husband and the wife.
I quote: “What causes nearly all sin in someone’s life? The root of sin usually starts with selfishness. Your desires, wants and needs are the first priority and you’ll do anything to achieve those things first.
“When my wife and I fought, it always seemed like we would first get battle ready and then attack. What I mean by this is that we would first make sure that we had enough ammunition and armor to attack and defend as required. In this case, armor and ammunition were things the other either did or did not do to meet the other’s needs. It was when I confessed to my adultery that the light exposed my own heart. For the first time, I could see my own heart, thoughts, sins, flaws, and weaknesses. Previously I felt I could justify my position and how I responded, but not this time. This time, I was exposing myself, and what I saw broke my heart.
“I was shown, by The Light, to be the root of all my sin: SELFISHNESS. I am convinced that most marriage problems and other parts of one’s life could have their origin from selfishness. My desires, self-gratification, self-pleasures, lusts, jealously, envy, and more all start with selfishness. I do believe this to be true.” Unquote
“Now to the married I command, not I, but the Lord, do not let the wife depart from her husband. But if she departs, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And do not let the husband divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Where to Start?
First, talk with God: (1) confess your selfishness and your sin, (2) ask forgiveness from God.
Second, talk with your husband/wife: (1) Acknowledge selfishness, (2) Ask forgiveness of your husband/wife.
This is not complicated.
John White
Rockwall, Texas
John N. White 